Introduction
Everyone deals with procrastination at some point in their life. Some of us just happen to deal with it on a frequent, if not daily, basis. Or, if you're like me, multiple times in a single day. In my life, procrastination is like the TV show Friends on cable. I know, I know, who the hell uses cable anymore? But hear me out! It's a regularly scheduled program on one channel that has reruns on the channel directly beneath it and other episodes on a completely different network playing about four hours later.
If you are a creative, neurodivergent, and even if you're not, welcome! You've found the right place! Before we dive into everything, I think getting a lay of the land is important. I am approaching this topic from the perspective of someone who struggles with ADHD, depression, and anxiety. While these things do not define me, they are part of me and I have been learning about them for years.
Here are some definitions and explanations of key terms:
- Procrastination: according to Merriam-Webster, the verb procrastinate means "to put off intentionally and habitually" or "to put off intentionally the doing of something that should be done."
- Avoidance Coping: Stress Generation, Avoidance Coping, and Depressive Symptoms: A 10-Year Model by Charles J. Holahan, Rudolf H. Moos, Carole K. Holahan, Penny L. Brennan, and Kathleen K. Schutte states that "Avoidance coping involves cognitive and behavioral efforts oriented toward denying, minimizing, or otherwise avoiding dealing directly with stressful demands and is closely linked to distress and depression (Cronkite & Moos, 1995; Penley, Tomaka, & Wiebe, 2002)."
- This article by Alice Boyes Ph.D. published in Psychology Today details 9 forms of avoidance coping to be aware of. She states that procrastination and avoidance coping are not the same from the standpoint of someone in a psychology field. "Avoidance coping creates stress and anxiety, and ravages self-confidence. It's a major factor that differentiates people who have common psychological problems (e.g., depression, anxiety, and/or eating disorders) vs. those who don't.
- Perfectionism: one of Merriam-Webster's definitions of the noun perfectionism, the one that most often comes to my mind, means "a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable."
- ADHD Paralysis: PsychCentral says, "It’s a phrase used to describe a common experience for people living with ADHD — the experience of overwhelm freeze. 'Procrastination about completing tedious tasks is common for so many people, but for those with ADHD, the challenge can be even harder,' explains Ari Fox, a licensed clinical social worker specializing in children’s mental health, in New York... He explains these small tasks can be so daunting that you may avoid them completely, favoring activities that bring stimulation and immediate gratification, instead."
For those who are neurodivergent, procrastination and perfectionism can be amplified to debilitating levels. These are terms most people are already familiar with while avoidance coping and ADHD paralysis are more likely known by those who struggle with mental health or those studying psychology. Luckily, this blog has tips that are beneficial to everyone!
Tips for Overcoming
- Talk to Someone: a doctor, a teacher, a therapist, a parent/parental figure, a friend, anyone that you trust who might have knowledge about these topics. Find a professional or someone with first-hand experience that has healthy methods of overcoming their frustrating situations. Being able to express your concerns to someone who can give you applicable advice and not your standard run-of-the-mill is both validating and actually helpful.
- Look For Resources: similar to the previous point, I think looking for resources from people with personal experience is an effective and easy-to-access way of finding help. They don't even have to be people you know! The Internet and social media are amazing tools with essentially unlimited options, many of which are of no cost. TikTok has become a popular pool of information on about any topic you can think of. Take @comfortingcookies' video detailing how to get yourself through ADHD paralysis for example. It currently has over 532,000 views and is completely free to watch. Her account's description reads, "our mental health matters🍪 wellness tools·experiences·psychology" and she has a variety of playlists that focus on specific topics or diagnoses.
- Discover Yourself: the goal is not to be an expert in the things you're struggling with. The goal is to be an expert at knowing how to get yourself through it all. It can be overwhelming looking through all of this information and having suggestions thrown at you, but all you really need is to do what works best for you. Take what resonates and discard the rest. If your current toolbox of healthy coping skills is running stale then it might be time to take a look at the list again. If something is jumping out at you, give it a try. And if not, pick something at random.
Actual Things to Do
- Priorganize: the combination of prioritizing and organizing. This can be applied to any tasks or challenges you're facing. Break the project into its most basic parts and pick a starting point from there.
- Reframing: the image to the right from LiveWellwithSharonMartain.com shows the power of reframing, or rewording, the way we perceive things. In this case, it's perfectionism vs excellence.
- Work on Timing: this is a hard one for people with time blindness but it is a necessary evil. It requires a lot of self-discipline to hold yourself accountable and actually work on your projects when you said you would.
Conclusion
Is a cake still a cake if it's not decorated? What's the difference? I've heard the phrases "fake it 'til you make it" and "sometimes you gotta half-ass it" but none of those have ever truly resonated with me. I think the reason is that a half-baked cake is, in fact, not a cake. It is a mess of ingredients that need more time to develop. An undecorated cake, however, is a cake. It just doesn't look pretty. It will still taste great; however, we eat with our eyes first and that's an important piece to consider. Even if all you have time to do is put a plain layer of icing on the cake, it is still better to show up with an undecorated cake than with nothing at all.
In layman's terms, get the structure and most important parts done no matter what. If you do have the time, then you can embellish and add the details. Trust me, the hyper fixation on the details is so real but people need to know what you're talking about for the details to matter. Going back to the metaphor, if you make 100 fondant flowers and 30 chocolate spirals but never make the cake, that would make for a confusing display.
These blogs are meant to be posted once per week. As I am writing this, it is Saturday, the last day of the week, and I'm posting at 11:59 PM so it will be posted before the end of the week. I want to emphasize, THIS IS NOT A GOOD HABIT! I started this blog post last week and I'm still struggling, it's unprofessional, and makes me upset. In many situations, I know turning something in at the last minute is not okay and that I could get in trouble for it. In every situation, I try to do my best but sometimes that means my cake is undecorated. As long as I never stop trying, I know things will be okay.
- The Adaptive Creative
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